Us and Them

Maybe you've seen it already. Maybe you still don't believe that it's happening. Or maybe it's you. Around the country people who never dreamed of becoming homeless, people who have well paying jobs, people who own BMW's, and people who thought they had a safety net are finding themselves joining the ranks that they once thought only consisted of addicts, the weak, and the mentally ill.

Identity Crisis Accompanies VA Family's Financial Slide
Washington Post, October 6, 2009

Ron Vazquez was not a drunk. Not a drug addict. Not mentally ill.

For weeks, he repeated those phrases to himself and to anyone else who would listen. He and his wife used to fight over walk-in closet space and which BMW to buy. Yolanda Vazquez is the quintessential PTA mom -- organized and energetic. Ron's the classic Little League coach -- involved and enthusiastic. They were not drunks. Not drug addicts. Not mentally ill.

They were not homeless. Except that now, they are.

The Vazquezs are not alone. Around the country families that never dreamed that they would find themselves in a shelter are there. But they still see themselves as different from the "real" homeless people. As the oldest daughter says "This is where I live. It's not who I am." While I don't think the family should view themselves as derelicts and the scum of society, it saddens me that families that find themselves in this situation don't see the humanity in the "real" homeless people. There are plenty of people who struggle with alcoholism and mental illness but do have stable jobs and high salaries. Some of them have their illness under control while others are just successful at hiding their illness. Either way "those people" pass as one of "us" every day.

We are no different from "them." All that makes us different is that in this crazy world some of us have it easy and some of us didn't. The next time you see someone panhandling, or sleeping on a park bench, or slipping into a shelter remember that they shouldn't be pitied and you can't "save" them. Remember that if things were different you could be them and think about how you would want them to treat you if the tables were turned. Because, no matter what you feel, "they" are one of "us" too.